Change

You know that part on Finding Nemo at the very end? The part where the fishes have wanted and wanted to be out of that tank and they finally make it out and into the ocean and they are just sitting there looking at each other and one of them says, "Now what?" Precisely how I'm feeling right now.

We wanted and wanted out of that hospital and we finally get home and get settled down and we look around like "what are we supposed to do now?"

It has been a huge adjustment being home.

Lizzie is doing fantastic - I can tell it's just very good for her to be home. Spencer makes her laugh all the time and helps us ease her burdens when she is getting her meds or having a sad time.

Calli has been throwing major tantrums every day - I think she's just readjusting to us being home - I'm sure it's hard for her especially since she and Lizzie have been good little friends and now Lizzie is different. We're hoping Calli will adjust quickly because she's really having a hard time. Spencer seems to be okay...I can tell he has some anger inside, but I think he'll be okay.

Lizzie is walking more every day and is working on stairs...she does okay coming down the stairs, but going up it's very difficult for her. She can eat completely on her own and sit up to our table so that's been great to have family dinners again.

I guess the biggest thing we're trying to deal with is how different our life is right now. I feel like I have a full time job with just Lizzie and then trying to figure out how to give enough attention to Spencer and Calli and all the stuff that we mommies do all day (and no, we don't sit around watching TV and eating bon bons!)

We are starting therapy next week and she has to get blood drawn twice a week, so we will be spending a lot of time doing that, but we're just glad she's on the road to recovery. She seems very stable and happy to be here. She is so tired and sleeps a lot still, but I'm sure she's just making up for 3 weeks of sleep deprivation and recovering from her surgeries.

It seems like every time I am starting to feel overwhelmed or sad, someone calls or comes in to help ease our burdens. I am convinced that people are just overwhelmingly good. I haven given up completely on mascara because someone does something nice for us and I just weep because of how helpless we feel and how grateful we are for the help. We are so glad to be home...I hope I haven't given the impression that we're not, it's just unbelievably weird while we're trying to figure out our "new normal."