Home. I was so composed today - it really was a peaceful day. I came home tonight for the first time since we hurriedly packed kids in the car to go to ER last Sunday night...can't believe it's been a week.
Spencer and I put together a Lego set, read books and cried together. He really opened up about his sadness and it was a sweet moment and, I hope, a healing one too. I have missed Spencer and Calli so very much this week - it feels so good and normal to be here.
The state our home was in when we left was disgusting. I had a sick child all weekend and literally didn't do dishes, vacuum, do laundry or the things you do to keep your home running well. We left with vomit in a bucket, vomit on blankets and just a basic state of disarray.
I came home today to a sparkling clean home with flowers on the counter from our friends in Ohio, gifts in a box from Ben's sweet cousins and a plate of banana bread on the front doorstep - what a warm and happy welcome. My friend Tausha came in and cleaned our home and rearranged some furniture (she's a doll and can't help herself, it's what she does for her job). My mom did all our laundry and finished cleaning. It was so peaceful and happy to come home to a clean house with no reminders of what happened.
I just tucked Spencer into bed, he wanted to sleep with me tonight, so I put him up there and had to majorly choke back the tears. The last time I slept in my bed was for a Sunday afternoon nap with my Lizzie. She was so sick and wanted to sleep and rest near me...I miss her.
I miss my little girl who loves Fancy Nancy, Pinkalicious and all things girlie. I miss her belly laugh that others in the room can't help but join in. I miss her coming up to me and practicing her smiles and asking me if "this smile looks real?" I miss her getting dressed for the day and coming in and asking me if I like her outfit. I miss doing her hair and having her scream like a banshee, but then her loving what it looks like afterward. I miss playing babies, littlest pet shop and Polly Pockets with her. I miss hearing her read to me and sounding out the words so well. I miss our long, lazy and fun mornings together befores she goes to school. I just miss her.
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8 comments:
Ahh sweet Carol, you will have her home soon. Love you.
I am glad you got a chance to go home but I can totaly understand the bittersweet feeling. Love you!
I too am soo glad you were able to go home and before you know it Lizzie will be there too! Hang in there cutie! Love you!
What a gift you have to be able to see and recall all the good and sweet amongst such turmoil! What a wise mom to know when it's time to split time! You are an inspiration to all of us!!! Hope we can learn from your example. Sometimes the job can be so routine but thanks for reminding us to find joy in scrubbing toilets, combing hair, playing games and answering questions. There truly is no better job than being mom! It was so good to see your little Lizzie today . . . she is beautiful!!!
Love ya,
The Gardiners
Carol, we love you. I don't know what else to say. You're in our continued prayers.
so glad that you able to go home, your haven from the world. I hope it refreshed you in a way.
Your words ring so true. I will step back and look at my girls in a new light. I will appreciate the yelling at each other because one took the others favorite shirt. I will cherish the snuggles, reading time and all things girly. I will stop and realize the important things and push aside the things that are not. Thank you my friend-your faith, and attitude has helped me more than you will ever know. I love you and I was happy to help. I hope the changes are ok and that you still love me. (even though I changed your stuff around :)
Lizzy will be home soon, I know she will. Our hearts are broken and will heal quickly as she gets back to her old Lizzy self. Love you
Wade Julie n boys
You are all in our prayers every day and we care about all of you very much. Let me know if I can do anything!! I am just across the street you know. :-) I can help in anyway. HUGS!!
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