Another Trippin' Night

Lizzie seems to get so agitated at night. Last night it seemed she was going through all the events of the last two weeks in her mind. She alternated between yelling, talking and telling people off. It was probably tied for our worst night in the hospital.

But again, we have blessed with tender mercies. She was positive her best friend Savannah was downstairs and she was bound and determined to get out of bed to see her. She was very agitated and upset. I remembered that just a couple hours before our Bishop brought some pictures from the sweet Call family of when Lizzie and her friend Savannah had gone over to their home for a nail painting party. Lizzie was immediately calmed by seeing the pictures of her friend and it seemed to be just enough to keep her in bed. I had no idea they had even taken pictures of her. It was bittersweet to see my sweet Lizzie looking so happy and herself, but seriously, what a blessing that we have those fun pictures. Speaking of the Call's, Lizzie loves them and told me two weeks ago that she likes them better than us - can't say I blame her, they're pretty wonderful.

She also received a box of prizes to open - one for each day - this from the sweet Fieldings who seem to be in tune with what she needs - it is good for her to have distractions from being poked, prodded and all the nasty meds she is taking.

Lizzie is so easily ticked off. She has told off us, her nurses, her doctors and a myriad of imaginary visitors she gets each day. Last night she yelled things like, "I call the Pink cup"...my kids fight over what color cup they get at mealtimes. She was talking to people at her school and saying, "Andrew, get off her computer, it's not your turn" and also saw her cousin AJ who is on a mission...she said he looked good :) She also sees her sister Calli a lot and is always asking where she is when she isn't an imaginary visitor in her room.

Your gifts continue to serve an important purpose. We now have a little leverage for her to take her medicine and after she does she gets a little treat or gets to play with a prize that she has received. She also wanted her nails painted here and what do you think was dropped off for her last night - some perfect pink polish. She was also so happy to get some pink and white animal cookies from the Paulings - her eyes lit up for the second time yesterday when she saw those. This means a lot because her eyes seem pretty dull and lifeless during the day and it's great to have these breakthrough moments where she seems like her old self.

Our hearts are a bit sad today b/c of all the rough times she's having, but one good sign is that the fluid draining out of her head is now losing it's red hue which means she may get to have that drain removed soon...we're still uncertain about whether or not she'll have to have a permanent shunt.

My brother Ben got a little giggle out of Lizzie last night and that did my heart good b/c we hadn't heard it since the first day out of surgery.

In the quiet hours when there are no visitors we feel sweet reassurances that we have indeed been prepared for this and we are prepared for what may come. We haven't had any "why us, why her?" moments and I hope we never will - it really doesn't matter why. I have told a few people this, but I have to share one thing that has stuck with me through this whole thing and one way in which I felt very strongly that I was prepared for this experience.

The night before she was diagnosed I was on my way to our church to set up for sharing time (a lesson for young children). The lesson was about how Jesus Christ is our Savior. My heart was so heavy that night because she was so sick. I had no one to pawn my lesson off on b/c my counselors were out of town, or else I definitely would have. I was hanging scriptures around the room from the New Testament and thought about them as I was hanging them up. I felt so enveloped in peace and I knew that we would soon have answers about why Lizzie was so sick all the time. The next day the scripture that was our theme for the day was the one about how Jesus suffered for our sins and our afflictions so he would know how to succor his people.

Every day when things get heavy I think of this experience and that particular scripture and I plead with my Heavenly Father that we will receive the succor that we need for that day, and we do...somehow we always make it through with much comfort.

My heart is touched when I hear of children, teenagers and people we don't even know praying and fasting for our daughter. I cannot tell you in strong enough words that we feel these prayers. Thank you for helping us get through this time.