ONE

It's been one year since our world was turned upside down - crazy how much has happened in a year and how our lives are so unrecognizable to what they were a year ago. 

This week has been hard - I blame it on Ben :)  We were sitting in church on Sunday and he looks over at me with tears streaming down his face.  He was thinking about what we've done in the past year and everything that has happened.  That's all it took for me to lose it. 

We decided that we wanted to make February 21st (Lizzie's anniversary of her diagnosis) a celebration.  So we got all of our family together and had a big dinner at Olive Garden (Lizzie's choice)!  It was so fun to have all of the people that mean the most to us surround us.  Our families are so special and we never could have survived this year without their support, love, prayers, food, and babysitting. 

    (Our awesome family!)

I have to admit that I woke up that day feeling huge amounts of anxiety.  My sister and Ben's mom said they both felt anxious for Lizzie.  She has been sick this week, nothing major, but it was kind of ironic that we found ourselves at McKay Dee Hospital on the 21st...that's where we took her last year on the same day for tests to find out why she was so critically ill.

Enough about that, ugh!  Life is good and we are happy.  Lizzie has started taking a dance class through Inspire Dance in Clearfield.  It's a special needs class and she is one of the highest functioning students there - it's so sweet to watch these kids with different disabilities and challenges just go out and dance.  There is no pressure to learn the routines perfectly and there is no stress at all - it's all about the joy of moving your body.  It's been really fun for Liz and she loves it.

(Lizzie and her good friend that she's made this year in school...we're glad she is finally coming out of her shell a bit.)

Spencer is loving sports like his Daddy and wants to play basketball all the time.  He loves Jimmer Fredette and even made his Pinewood Derby car and named it the "Jimmer Jaguar"...too bad it didn't perform as well as the real Jimmer does :)  He is the sweetest kid - I know in my heart that he was born first so he could help take care of Lizzie.  I've said this before, but I really feel he has been one of the main catalysts in helping Lizzie get better and regain more of her old personality. 

(Spencer and the Jimmer Jaguar...and yes, in case you were wondering, my kitchen usually looks like this!)

We went to the store the other day so the kids could spend their spending money.  Lizzie had already spent all of hers when she spotted a coloring book she wanted.  I told her she could get it next time.  Spencer secretly got the book and went up to the checkstand and paid for it and gave it to her so she could have what she wanted.  He is an angel.  Don't get me wrong, he is still a very mischievous boy and drives me nuts sometimes, but he is a tenderheart and I love him.

(Calli on her preschool fieldtrip to the aerospace museum...she thought the heads in the background were real...it really freaked her out)

Calli is my sweet girl.  Ever since Lizzie's surgery, she can't get enough of cuddling and me holding her.  She'll often come into our bed in the middle of the night and just inch up next to me as close as she can get.  She is very into balloons and anytime she has money she wants to buy balloons...needless to say, we have them all over the house! 

The other night after bathtub time, Calli was looking in the mirror as I was getting her dressed.  She said, "I have a skinny tummy and Lizzie has a fat tummy."  Lizzie just looked at her and said, "I am perfect just the way I am - I'm just the way Heavenly Father wants me to be."  I was so proud of her for not being upset and just telling it how it is. 

Her weight continues to climb - we are hoping for a miracle next month that she can start taking growth hormone again without getting very ill.  We are excited and nervous for her MRI next month too - we just hope it's clear and we can determine what we need to do from here on out.

As I reflect on this last year, I am grateful.  We are closer as a family.  I have met amazing women who are going through what I'm going through and I love them (Desirae, Heidi & Allison).  We are surprisingly better off financially than we were a year ago, even with medical bills, and Ben has been so blessed in his job.  We have discovered that we can do hard things.  And most importantly, we have been granted extra time with our sweet daughter and continually learn from her.  Life is good.