Looking Up

Things here are good - Lizzie has had a great couple of weeks back to back which hasn't really ever happened before since February - we had ZERO doctor appointments - it was so nice! She still had therapy though so we weren't totally off the hook.

Speaking of therapy, Lizzie is doing really well in recovering the loss of movement that came along with her stroke in the hospital.  Her face still shows some paralysis, but it's not that noticeable.  Her energy levels are awesome - she hasn't needed a nap every day and only needs one occasionally - I count this as a major sign of recovery.  She does have some joint pain now that she never had before - I'm sure this is as a result of the weight gain.

Ben and I were talking the other day about how Lizzie has changed and we both have noticed that since her surgery, she is more gentle, sweet and kind.  Not that she was a monster before, but she definitely had major attitude and was really grumpy at times.  We called her our "firecracker" because you never knew when she would go off.  Looking back I'm sure it was because she had never felt normal or good.  That tumor had been slowly growing since her birth and I'm sure she felt crummy a lot of the time but didn't know any different.  I can't tell you how sweet she is now - I've never met a child who is this sweet.  She is so tender hearted and would never do or say anything mean to anyone...okay, except maybe her siblings when they really bug her :)

I've had the flu for a couple days and last night Lizzie came into my room and said, "Mom when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I will kneel down and say a prayer for you to feel better.  Even if I wake up two or three times, I will still pray for you every time."  When she was blessed as a baby she was blessed to bring peace and unity to our home and to be a peacemaker among her siblings...we always joked that it was an error because of how she used to act, but now we are seeing that happen in our family. 

(With the Huff Cousins at the annual Halloween Party)

Ben and I often don't feel worthy of the kindness and blessings that have come into our lives as a result of everything that has happened, but we know Lizzie is worthy of them.

A couple neat things have happened since I last wrote.  Weber High School in our area has chosen to do a fundraiser this year for the Make A Wish Foundation and they want to be the one's to grant Lizzie's wish.  I had already thought that Send Out Cards gave the funds for her wish, but I guess they had raised money in general for Make A Wish and not specifically for Lizzie's wish.  Confusing, I know!  Anyhow, we are honored to have our local high school share Lizzie's story and raise the funds so that she (and we) can go on the Disney Cruise.

Another thing that has really touched our hearts is that a really awesome photographer in Utah County who doesn't even know us has chosen our family for her annual Glimpse of Santa Charity event.  She photographs kids with their dad or grandpa dressed up as Santa so the kids aren't scared of the man in the big red suit - it is a really fun idea.  Anyhow, she visited our blog and decided that we were the ones she wanted to help out this year.  We are left a little speechless by her generosity, but are sincerely grateful because this year has been off the charts expensive for us - we have been so blessed to have Ben's work improve and have good insurance, but I highly don't recommend a lengthy medical stay for anyone's budget!  Her website with the details is www.jennifereliason.com/blog

A huge change that we've implemented is that we are taking Lizzie off of white flour, processed sugars and dairy - this has completely changed our life.  I already made wheat bread before this happened, but now I am making cookies, pie crusts and everything with wheat - it's actually really good!  Lizzie has had so many digestive issues and we felt directed to go really healthy and organic with the way we feed her.  She drinks coconut milk now and I am learning how to make all sorts of things using healthier and natural sugars.  When we keep her off sugars and white flour, her hunger is soooo much better maintained and her digestive issues definitely improve.  We don't go out to eat very often and I now have to bring her special food and snacks with me almost wherever we go.  Her school is so awesome too because they don't allow any candy or treats in school and the snacks they give are all whole grain and fruits and veggies.  Our grocery budget has doubled, but it's really been a good thing for all of us. 

Over Halloween, we let Lizzie have some candy because we didn't want to be totally Nazi about it - wow, we saw a huge change in how she felt and how hungry she was so we are committed to just making this work and I am spending a lot more time in the kitchen preparing everything from scratch - Ben jokes about how that is where I belong anyways :)

(Calli on Halloween...she's the only one I took pictures of in costume...I am so bad with my camera!)

Ben had work meetings in Boston last week and I tagged along for a few days.  The first night I spent sitting on the bathroom floor crying into the night because it was so hard for me to actually relax and be away from our kids.  I finally just had to get over it because hello, we were in Boston and I love history.  It was a fun and relaxing trip.  We saw things like this...

 And ate things like this...

 And basically just had a great trip!

I feel like I'm still in the process of acceptance of everything - change is super hard for me and we have had almost a whole year of constant change.  I know people probably think that I'm ungrateful or lame because so many families have lost children and yet, I have my child alive still and she is doing relatively well - and trust me, I thank God for that every day - it is still just hard for my mommy heart to have my child hurt and struggle.  We're getting there though - every day gets easier for both Lizzie and our family to accept and keep going.

(Calli and her cousin/twin Brecklin - they are so much alike, it's scary!)

I am so grateful for the generosity that has quite literally been poured out upon our family this year - we have received so much love and we are so thankful for people that have such giving hearts.  We are trying to live in Thanksgiving daily and to focus on the good in our lives - we are so thankful for people who make that easier for us.  Happy Thanksgiving!