Be Done, Be Done!

Be done is Lizzie's motto these days. She says it while they're taking her blood, while they're flushing her IV's and basically whenever people are doing things to her that she doesn't like...which is everything right now.

She had a bit of a rough night - in pain, bowel issues and a leaky drain on her head. They came in around 1:30 a.m. to check her and one of her drains was leaking slightly, so the neurosurgeon resident (resident idiot, if you ask me) came in and said he was going to put some stitches in to hold it in place. I went off a little bit. I told him there was no way he was putting stitches in without numbing her head with lidocain cream first. He said, "well, that will take 45 minutes to take effect." I told him that if it meant that she wouldn't feel it then who cares how long it takes. Then this morning they ended up just taking out the drain because she didn't need that one anyways. I was really annoyed - I'm not at my best in the middle of the night...okay, that's a little too mild. I am actually really monstrous in the middle of the night :)

As long as her pain is under control, she does really well. She is on complete bedrest right now and she is being very patient and good. We played hospital bingo this morning and she won a fun prize and she is watching movies, coloring and playing little games with us. A few people have asked when she can start having visitors and I think now is a good time since her pain is lessening and she is awake most of the time.

Right now they have turned up the pressure on the remaining two drains in her head to try to get the rest of the fluid off her brain. We are going to have another CT scan on Friday to see what things look like. If they are improving we will most likely leave the drains in and see if they continue to help her. If there is not a ton of improvement, then she is scheduled for another surgery on Friday to implant a new shunt to help her drain. If they shunt her then we should be out on Monday or so. If not, then we'll be here a bit longer to allow the drains to continue to work. We'd really like to avoid another surgery, but we'll just wait and see.

Our other little kiddos called last night to say good night and they both broke down sobbing their little hearts out, "please come home, I miss you" and lots of tears...I think that's one of the hardest things about being here is just letting go of our other little ones and praying they won't be as traumatized as they were last time...I don't think they are and we know they are in good hands.

We feel very optimistic and happy. Things aren't as scary and overwhelming as they were the first time. Our backs are definitely being shaped to this burden. It took me longer this time to turn this situation and Lizzie over to God's hands, but once that happened, life became manageable again. I know He's in charge, but it took me a few days to not be bitter about all the suffering Lizzie is going through - I guess you could say that before I had the attitude that yes, He's in charge, but she'd better not suffer or else. It is still hard to watch her suffer so much, but I am starting to trust again that this all has a purpose and she will be taken care of.

Life is good - we are looking forward to watching the fireworks from the balcony here at Primary Children's and just have a few days of downtime before we have to make any more big decisions.